Ribbit and Writing

There’s a frog in my throat again – it’s sitting back there steathily and leaps out all of a sudden when I’m least expecting him, changing my voice from possibly dulcet mezzo-soprano to shockingly deep bass. Last night, Victor was too warm and kicked all the blankets off of the both of us. This is possibly, the biggest downside to the family bed that I can think of (other than dealing with spitup and peepee accidents) because it happens so consistently. I should just bite the bullet I think and start making the bed with separate blankets for all of us, because none of us can seem to agree about when to be hot and when to be cold.

The frog is accompanied by a sense of being under a spell – everything is just a little bit farther away than usual, my self is inside a cocoon of me, seeing and observing, but not quite touching things around me. I can hear what my boss is saying, it registers, but it sort of skips off into the ether as soon as she’s done speaking, carried off in a puff of sparkly distractions from the back of my mind. After all, there’s Christmas shopping to be done, holiday meals to plan for, a wealth of cards to write and of course, a pile of issue tickets in my queue that need addressing. Among them are fun things to do – new graphics for a new section of the site, new menus to make into dynamic ColdFusion include templates and documents to convert into PDF. I don’t know why, but the act of clicking that cheery red icon in Word to turn a lame Office doc into a PDF gives me a subversive sort of thrill. It’s like giving Microsoft the finger every time I click it. “Hah! Take that Microsoft! Your format isn’t web-friendly viewing, mua ha ha!” I suppose the former Linux and Mac geek in me needs to get her satisfaction somehow.

Despite some drama that I’ve only just become aware of, I’m finding my participation in this year’s Holidailies to be quite enjoyable. Some journals I used to read and thought were gone have resurfaced and regained their rightful place on my list o’ links so I can browse them along with all the others again. I’ve found some new toothsome reads that are keeping me entertained when the aforementioned pile of HTML and web code slinging fail to amuse me. I used to update daily without even trying, these days it’s a lot harder to do between the work and home committments. The portal has served its purpose for me though by preventing me from slacking. Instead of browsing mommie boards first thing in the morning when I get to work, I spend the time writing, with rare exceptions (like today – though today it was because I was doing work).

I can’t help but thing that this is a good thing for me, especially given the fact that I failed to complete NaNoWriMo. That was a good experience too though, even though I didn’t finish or reach the desired wordcount. Life got the better of me, but I managed to write more and think more about the architecture of the story that I want to tell than I have in quite a long while. I’ve got a good foundation to build on now, and before I only had bricks and mortar swimming around in a stew of ideas at the back of my mind.

I’ve even got some ideas for some future entries now, essays that I’m actually building with bubbles and tree structures on paper as I learned to do in high school. I’m developing all the ideas, writing an outline instead of just brain dumping onto the page. It’s good to keep those skills sharp and re-learn how to make a cohesive argument. It’s a part of me I’ve let lie dormant for far too long and suffered the consequences when people fail to understand me because I lack clarity in my explanations.