I have an important meeting in a little while. It always makes me nervous when I have important meetings, even when I’m ready for them. The materials for the meeting are in a neat stack, stapled, collated and paper-clipped next to me, with a copy lying cross-wise atop the pile for my own use. Twenty-five copies of agenda, team structure, roles & responsibilities and the high-level project timeline, all ready to go.
So why am I so nervous, my stomach curled up in a little ball inside my abdomen? I can only think that it’s lingering stage fright left over from years and years of shyness and nerves about strangers and speaking in front of groups. I’m almost thirty-two years old. You’d think I’d be over it by now.
Behind me, sunlight is doing its best to splash through the barricade of supports the construction crew has erected next door to put up the next level of the luxury condo building. My view is completely gone now, no more glimpses of Mount Sutro bathing in fog or beams of sun to greet me in the morning. At least the porta-potties are gone.
I’m on tenterhooks about my co-worker who sits with me. She was due with her first child on January 9th and planning tomorrow as her last day in the office, but she called in at 6:30 yesterday morning and isn’t in again today. Her boss has no news, so I’m kind of chewing my fingernails and hoping she’s okay.
And there we are. Time to go to that meeting.