End of Year

Here we are at the end of another year, and as with other New Year’s Eves not too long ago, I am again facing the holiday with burning lungs and the lingering weakness left behind by a high fever. My thoughts have wandered in strange places for the past 48 hours, as fever raged, uncontrolled through my body until late yesterday afternoon when I was finally able to keep some Tylenol down.

There were a lot of fever dreams, all running into each other, so that no one is distinct from the others, a mish-mash of imagery, beautiful and frightening, still painted on my mind’s eye in the wake of the disease. The flu and “morning” sickness do not make easy bed partners.

2004, was, up until about 2 months ago, a year of recovery for me, for my little family. It was about working hard and slowly, but surely rebuilding, regaining hope. This Year-End though, has really smacked not just us, but the entire world around. Our own problems, as difficult as they seem to us right now, are nothing compared to the griefs and losses that tsunami and earthquake victims face around the shores of the Indian Ocean. The scope of those losses stuns me into silence. My brain can’t process the enormity of the tragedy. There’s an image though, of a father, holding his dead son’s hand that fills my sight when my thoughts turn to the disaster and brings quiet tears to my eyes. So many lost children. So many lost parents. So many lost lives.

We’ve done what we can for now, on that front, by donating to one of the many organizations that is taking contributions for disaster relief.

My personal heap of troubles is just a molehill compared to all that, but as Sabs said yesterday, tiredly before he headed off to work: “No more pain for now, just no more.”

– We had to put our cat, Mephisto, to sleep on Christmas Eve. He was only 6 years old and went from having onset of kidney failure to full on failure in a matter of days.

– Sabs’ work continues to be completely insane. They’ve lost so many people that he MUST work every night and they’re calling him on his days off to fill in. The only up side to that is that they’re unlikely to -fire- him if he does have to call in sick.

– I came down with the flu shortly after our return from Philadelphia. I’ve been in bed for the past 24 hours curled up in a fetal ball just trying to keep -anything- in my stomach.

– Vic got a bad cut on his lip last night due to an accidental encounter with a friend’s cat. He and Sabs spent something akin to 3 hours at the ER and got home just shy of 3 am. The little guy has 9 stitches in his upper lip and into his cheek. He’s also come down with my flu and is verging on delirious, lying on the couch babbling. He was refusing to take any medicine until about an hour ago when Sabs ran to the pharmacy to get a new medecine syringe.

– The Powers That Be at our apartment complex have also deemed that Victor is too noisy and that if we cannot keep him quiet, our lease will be terminated. We do not know what the criteria for that is – whether or not a certain number of new complaints have to be registered or what. We’ll be calling to find out details shortly. The conversation in the management office the other day was just … very upsetting. We’re looking for a lawyer/legal resource to help us figure out what our options are and doing a lot of research on California Fair Housing laws online.

At the worst, we will be given a three-day termination notice. Somewhere in between a 30 or 60-day notice. At best, we will manage not to piss off the downstairs neighbors at all in the next 5 months … which is doubtful given Vic’s predilection for jumping up and down and resistance to any discipline method other than being picked up, set down in a chair and firmly told to STOP. Unfortunately, by the time I’m able to chase him down grab him, the neighbors are usually already well into banging the heck out of the ceiling in irate fashion. Even if he’s only jumped up and down 3 times.

– And everything else from before the trip to Philly is still there, looming in the background.

At this point, I’m just praying for some resolution and looking at solutions to get us out of as much mess as possible, so we can just … move on into 2005.

Here’s hoping that the New Year is going much better for many of you.