November 17, 1999
Monday's child is fair of face
I was born on a Thursday and the old nursery rhyme about days of the week has always seemed to hold true for me, though I have my doubts about some of those rhymes. In fact, Thursday's Child might be a good title for this journal, all things considered, since it's something that actually defines me, a characteristic of myself that I deal with on a daily basis, in more or less complicated ways.
If I wasn't so happy with Narrative as the title, I'd pick up and redesign all over again right now! I think I've had enough redesigning for now, besides, Noel Streatfield already wrote an excellent children's book entitled Thursday's Child.
last to the rhyme though, "far to go" has dogged my steps just about everywhere I have ever turned. and right now, I'm feeling that distinct "far to go" feeling all over again. It seems that resting places are few and far between for me, my life is always in motion, always being disturbed by some kind of wave of change.
This year in particular has been rife with change and learning experiences, accompanied by a fair share of grief, frustration and inner turmoil, leaving me feeling as if I still have far to go indeed.
In fact as I look toward the end of this year, I feel as if I have fallen last several steps. I may be making more money, but on the whole, I don't feel as if I've progressed towards any of the goals that I wanted to reach this year.
On the other hand, I spend way too much time worrying about things. It would be nice to spend a day without worrying about anything, to just take things as they come.
This might be a good motto for me:
Don't worry about the future,
According to my diary, which is a pre-printed one with spaces for writing and quotes in the margins, this rhyme is a traditional toast. I've never heard it before, but the advice isn't all that bad.
I mean, it's one thing to plan for the future but nattering and worrying about it the way I do just doesn't help much and in fact is detrimental to my health.
So, though I may yet have far to go, I think I should try to stop worrying about it.