{August Breasts of Doom Collab}


8.23.99

Topic: Have your breasts ever caused a distraction? How do you feel about others' breasts causing distractions?

Up until a few months ago, I never really gave this much thought. I'm either incredibly unobservant, or I just haven't noticed what movies, magazines and other media sources call the "take-in look." You know the sweep that guys are supposed to do, of a woman's body with their eyes, from neck to calf and back up.

Sabs assures me that it's true and that one of the first things he notices about a woman is her attractiveness quotient, including breast-size, hip-width and so on and so forth.

Anyway, as I was saying, up until a few months ago, I've never really had a problem with the whole breast-attention thing. I've always been kind of plump but in recent years, I've gotten downright LARGE. This has also equated into massive leaps in cup size, all the way from a chaste 36B, to a C then a 38C and now a 38/40DD.

I don't like underwire, so I have a terrible time finding soft-cup bras that provide enough support for these mamas and are comfortable as well. I hit pay dirt with a series of bras from Playtex 'Support Can Be Beautiful' -- specifically style #4428. Unlike many other softcups or even underwires(in desperation) that I tried, this bra actually fits around my whole breast and holds the works up.

However, it really holds the works up and gives me something of a 50s cast iron maiden, breasts of doom look. In other words, there's some real shape goin' on, on my chest.

When I was a teenager, I wasn't the body type that attracted attention from boys. I was geeky and chubby and I didn't dress in anything resembling stylish. So for the most part I slipped through the hallowed halls of high school unnoticed. The only catcalls I ever had to deal with was from trucks full of landscapers driving along the road to the nursery that bordered the high school grounds.

Back in May of this year, I'd finally settled on a new lunch counter to get my daily sandwich and fruit fix after starting my new job several blocks away from my old job. The new place was a small Greek Deli, with a large staff of Hispanic guys. They got to know me and my usual order pretty fast, smiling and saying hello in broken English and double-checking that I did want my usual sandwich.

I'd been going there for about 3 months, when I overcame my shyness and brought out my rusty old Spanish in an attempt to be friendly and get some practice. I wound up regretting that decision for the first time ever. At my old job, the check-out girls downstairs with both Ecuadorian and we used to have a nice chat every day, once in the morning when I came in for my milk and once in the afternoon when I came down to get my fruit salad. Speaking Spanish kind of broke the ice with them and that led to a friendly sort of relationship that occasionally led to breaks at the cash register, not to mention some good talks.

This time, it was different. As soon as I opened my mouth, this somehow signaled a barrier dropped to the guy behind the counter and he started telling me how nice I was and how pretty. Then he leaned over the counter and with a lascivious wink moved his hands in an hourglass formation and told me that I was nice and big and had a great shape.

My smile froze on my face. I took my sandwich and made my escape to the check-out counter. I wasn't quite sure what to make of the whole situation. For the first time in my life, someone other than a boyfriend or a friend had made a comment about my shape and my breasts. It felt very odd coming from a stranger, accompanied by gestures that in a different environment I might have considered harassment.

This was also the first time that I experienced my body causing a distraction as the guy kept going on and on at me, holding up the line of people waiting for the space of a minute or so as I tried to extricate myself from the situation.

It also made me feel uncomfortable enough that I haven't been back to the Deli in months. I just don't want to deal with it. I've felt uncomfortable and ungainly about my size before, but this was the first time that I actually found it to be vaguely threatening. There's something about being seen in a sexual fashion by a stranger that feels odd. I mean it's one thing to find someone beautiful, and quite another to be making lascivious gestures in their general direction.

In that regard, I've always simply been thankful that that sort of attention has fallen onto others and skipped blissfully over me. Up until now, distractions caused by other breasts have garnered at most, an eyeroll from me about the vagaries of male behavior.

Now having been on the receiving end, I'd like to think that I have more sympathy for those to whom it happens when they don't want it to.

However, I still dislike the idea of purposely flaunting one's body to all and sundry. It seems an awful lot like a cheap ploy towards getting what you want, when with a little bit of extra effort, you might actually accomplish something better and more long-lasting, by asking a question or giving an intelligent answer.

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