It’s been two whole weeks since I posted here. When I get too overwhelmed by life, this is generally the last thing for which I make any time. I obsessively refresh Facebook and Gmail as I work frantically on all the homework that seems to pile up. The minute I get the week’s work done for one class, the next comes knocking at the door, along with an insistent three-year-old boy who wants to “Play baseball with me, Mummy!” or “Can you read the Cat and the Hat and Fish (translation: Wish for a Fish) to me, Mummy? Would that be a good idea? Would you like that?!”
No, honey, I wouldn’t. Just about any other book, yes, but not blooming “Wish for a Fish” while I’m trying to work on my Pathfinder LibGuide and read articles for my Digital Libraries paper. No, it would not be a good idea.
But of course I feel obliged to go with him, at least most of the time, and when I’m not doing that the housework is calling, or the bird feeders that the jays have raided, or my potted perennials on the deck need to be cut back for the winter, or my husband (gasp!) thinks that perhaps we should do something couple-ish. I’m struggling with body issues and the fact that nothing seems to fit right, stressing about cash…and sometimes it’s all just so big that I can’t summon the energy to find anything at all creative or interesting to say here in this oh-so-public space that can leave me feeling uninspired, unintelligent, and just plain dull.
Sometimes I wonder why I bother, because this is a remarkably dull journal. I don’t seem to go anywhere or do anything – it’s all about my thoughts and really, who cares, except for the people who know me best (and sometimes even not then).
See that? See the stress?
Move along. It’s all very boring here right now!
Don’t do it for us. Do it for you. I know how frustrating it can be to not have readers. It’s very dispiriting. But nothing will help that if you’re not writing for the pleasure of writing. Do what you wanna do. Forget us.
Peace,
Shannon
if it helps any im a reader too. your point of view (FA mommy struggling with it all) is one i welcome and relate too, espcially in the FA community where there is lots of fashion (not my thinkg) lots of feminism (being a stay-at home mom the feminism thing sometimes can feel exclusionary) and lots of in your face ness, i really like where you stand on things…..
so yes SOME of us are listneing.
If it counts for anything I got really excited when I saw you’d updated.
I’m glad to see you posting again.
I really enjoy your blog. I too have a 3 yr old (girl) and I am doing post grad study so I can relate to where you are with it all!
But don’t do this for us, do it for you. That said, I think having a FA mom perspective is valuable for FA and the feeds (but that is just me being selfish!)
I just want to say that I am a reader who looks forward to your posts (though I do understand life getting in the way) because what you write HAS helped me quite a lot and I appreciate reading what you post!
I, too, look forward to your posts, even though I am not a RL person in your life. You have written some amazing stuff in this blog and I hope you’ll continue with it. You should keep it up, not just for the readers (though we like what you write here!!) , but because you seem to have lots of interesting stuff to express. Maybe your production is not steady, but who says that it has to be? Everyone’s life has a rhythm and you don’t need to get discouraged because of that. There are weeks when you post tons and others when not much ( or nothing) goes up.
It’s all good.
Sometimes just thoughts well written are the best types of blogs to read.
I have to believe that or I’ll get too depressed about mine, anyhow, since that pretty much seems to be how I approach things! The next Dooce I am not.
But I care what you’re thinking and doing, so I will continue to read faithfully. Of course.