11 August, 1998

Tantamount

The 'flu kept down for 2 working days and most of the weekend. The wet chest-deep cough is still with me, but it is milder than it was, bowing in submission to an assiduous application of honey-lemon cough drops.

I keep getting ill at the oddest times of the year. Rather than suffering from the 'flu during the winter or fall when it is most common, I keep catching a mild case in the depths of the heat of the summer. I suppose it can easily be attributed to the fact that the air conditioning at work is freezing and the average temperatuer outside is enough to cause me to break into a sweat the minute I step out the door. The cold dries out nasal, sinus and lung tissues making them more fragile and hence more likely to weaken in the face of an attack by various bacteria and viruses which breed at alarming rates in the soupy air.

Sometime during this most recent illness, I lifted my head from the pillow and watched the room swim around with strange, shadowy shapes. Time shifted and merged with space and everything which I was, am and will be gained an immediacy which was both frightening and comforting. I saw everything as if from beneath water, distant and near at the same time, connected and disconnected. My body was no longer mine, though the essence of me was still very strong inside.

At times like these, mundane things like bills, chores and cleaning become exceedingly unimportant and the act of breathing become tantamount. An experience not to be missed.