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21 June, 1998
I heard them come in the door while I was on the phone to my Dad to wish him a Happy Father's Day. The same bright chatter which always preceded their arrival at our place or our arrival at theirs. It sounded frighteningly normal after the events of the past few months. I didn't want to go out there. I didn't want to have to face this day. Neither did Sabs, last night. Finally I got off the phone and made an appearance in my "rushed, getting ready to go" mode, looking for something while eyeing them both furtively from beneath the rims of my glasses. They were sitting together on the couch, like any other long-standing couple would. Not too close, not too far, occasionally touching as they talked, but without the touchy-feeliness which young couples (like Sabs and I) often exhibit. So I relaxed a fraction, finished putting up my hair and off we went to lunch. He was his usual affable, charming self. She was her charming, affable self. Nothing about the troubles, the separation, was said. Each talked about the little parts of their lives, the things they'd been doing lately without stepping into the drama and emotion laden subjects which could have turned this whole exercise into something deeply painful for all of us. In retrospect, it was almost as if they were telling each other, "Hey, I'm OK, you're OK, now let's got on with life" while discussing the details of the life habits of her new cat or his adventures on his last business trip. Very odd to watch, but not unpleasant. Of course, for the past three years they kept up a careful façade of normalcy for their son's benefit, so this could just be, them pretending that everything is fine again. While he was in the bathroom right before they left, Sabs asked her how the ride down had been. "Fine," she said, "he was very charming, it wasn't bad at all. I don't know what he's thinking, but it was fine." I assume that she didn't gloss over anything for Sabs' benefit and that it really was fine. It's just all too strange and mysterious to me. If I'd been doing this with my ex-boyfriend, I would not have been so calm, anti-depressants or no. So it went well. We had a good time. The restaurant that we went to, the "Carlyle Grand Cafe" in Shirlington was as excellent as its sister-establishments, the "Silverado" and the "Sweet Water Tavern", we stopped at Sears to look at vacuum-cleaners and I didn't see any I liked so we didn't pick one up, but they were very helpful and enthusiastic about the whole thing. We went back to our place and chatted some more and then they left in his car again, falling back into the patterns of 27 years of marriage as easily as if the past three hadn't happened. I will not pretend to understand it. But I'm glad that this day went so much better than I though it would. Now all we can do is wait for the repercussions, whatever they may be. |
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