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17 June, 1998
I'll do anything -- Billy Idol, "Sweet Sixteen"
New music in the CD player. Or rather, old music, new CD's. Three Billy Idol albums, Vital Idol, 11 of the Best and Cyberpunk. So I've been revisiting the 80's even more than usual and steeping myself deep in nostalgia, both from my childhood and more recent times. Cyberpunk carries a special weight all of its own, it's one of those albums which Sam and I bought together and stayed with him when we split. It's been 3 years and I'm just now replacing the CD copy. Tape just doesn't do it for me anymore. It's fine in my walkman, but well, I hanker after the crystal clear, quality sound of CD now. See ... technology has made me finicky. The other two bear such old favorites as "White Wedding", "Flesh for Fantasy", "Rebel Yell" and "Eyes Without a Face". Last night I put "Eyes Without a Face" on repeat play while I was writing out the bills for this pay period, then programmed the CD player to run through "White Wedding" "Eyes Without a Face" "Sweet Sixteen" and "Flesh for Fantasy". By midnight when I closed the checkbook on the last bill and had balanced everything and actually come up with a positive balance, I was positively drugged out on surrealsitic syntho-pop-rock and feeling pretty happy. I've written before about what a powerful effect music has on me. I think that I can safely say that the mostly dreamless and restful, though short, sleep which I got last night can be attributed to the fact that I'd zoned myself out so thoroughly on "soar" music for at least an hour before I went to sleep. Probably much healthier to release large amounts of natural endorphins than drink alcohol or slug sleeping pills. I'll have to remember this one for the next time I have a bout of insomnia. Musical tripping is a lot of fun too. Mostly 'cause it takes me on a journey while staying with me in the present at the same time. I see memories playing on the field of my mindscape, but I can stay focused on the tasks at hand too, so that the sounds become like a soundtrack to my activities. The tone of the music also affects my mood, calming stresses, smoothing out edges and generally helping to keep me more "up". Sabs can't listen to music while he's doing chores, I can't do chores well without it. Having the stereo going sometimes makes it possible for me to finish something which I probably wouldn't have gotten done otherwise. I think it's because it keeps part of my brain entertained and happy while the rest of it works on whatever it is I need to be doing. Music is probably one of the finest inventions humanity ever came up with. Thank goodness for it too. I may be going to a conference in August, out on the West coast in San José. I've never been to California before and the prospect of going is both exciting and intimidating. Sabs may come with me, seeing as his very good friend Sean lives in the Bay Area and opportunities to visit aren't that frequent. The idea of me going to a conference for work is also slightly bizarre. I mean ... this is me we're talking about, the anti-corporate, establishment nemesis, low-girl on the totem-pole peon.
Somehow it feels like a turning point. As if this is one of the signs that I've finally "arrived". Arrived where I'm not sure, but it feels awfully professional and grown-up. Very strange. Me ... grown-up? |
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