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10 June, 1998
A have a few pet peeves One of them concerns my name. My parents called me Elizabeth, but it's not a name that I've ever felt any particular attachment to. Mostly because when I was a little girl, Elizabeth quickly gave way to "Beth" and "BeeBee" and so forth. I think of myself almost exclusively as Beth. Except in French where Elizabeth is preferred, since Beth doesn't work very well in that language. I hate it when people call me Liz, or Lizzie or worse, Betty. None of these have anything to do with me. They are not my name. Just now in the bathroom, a co-worker called out a how-do-you-do Elizabeth. Of course, my name plaque says Elizabeth because I head my resumés with Elizabeth seeing as it is my proper name, so some people at the office who don't see me on a daily basis have no other way of identifying me. I understand this and I would prefer to be referred to with my full name, rather than whatever random nickname a person chooses to assign. But it still grates on my ear, actually it usually takes me a few minutes to realize that people are talking to me even if there are no other Elizabeth's in the room. I've thought about changing my name from time to time, but I think that my parents would be very hurt if I did. And well, Elizabeth works much much better in French. So I think I'm probably stuck with it, no matter how much I prefer "Beth". So. Please. Don't call me Liz. It's not my name, it's not even my nickname and well, frankly I don't like that particular variant on Elizabeth. Is it too much to ask of people, that they use your proper name until introduced to your nickname? I also get very annoyed when people whom I don't know get overly familiar with me too quickly. This is in reference to the fact that many of my VERY close friends have earned the right to call me Bethy. But this usage is reserved for their exclusive use. Coming from anyone else it sounds like an insult, or just plain wrong. If you want to see my hackles REALLY rise and damn fast, call me by my friends' name for me if I don't know you. You'll probably feel the temperature in the room drop several degrees very quickly. I am very proprietary about my name. Names define who we are, say something about us. In certain cases, they are the first introduction which a person has to you, especially if they've never seen you before. Names change as we grow, parents first choose a name to call their child, then somewhere along the line the child gets a nickname from the parents. Kids often choose names for themselves at different points in their development. For a short time I flirted around with Isabel, while I was still in Belgium. Partly because it was a friend's name and partly because it sounded more European and well, princess-like to me. Friends give you names which attach you to them, private shared nicknames which strengthen the bond of friendship, give you something special, maybe even secret to share just amongst the few of you. Like Zoe and I ... when we made up our secret alphabet and started signing notes to each other with mysterious sigils. Like Sam and I when we'd been dating for a while and adopted a sort of code name which meant something to us both and referred to the language of dreams ... like any couple who degenerate, (or evolve) from calling each other by their names, to calling each other cutesy sugar-sweet names like "honey", "sweetie", "pookie" etc. Names signify. They bear weight, they hold meaning. In ancient legends the power of knowing the true name of someone or something has mythic proportions. Knowing the true name, the true essence of something gives the power to manipulate, change, control, dominate, persuade. It's a key to the soul, so to speak. So ... if I get prickly about my name, it's only understandable really. My names are each symbols of my public and private faces, each siginifies something a little bit different, owns a part of who I am. Perhaps there is one name which encompasses all of them, but if there is, I myself, do not know it. But I am Beth. And I am Little Owl. And for some I am Bethy. And for others I will never be anything more than Elizabeth. |
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